.inspiration.motivation.crawling.forts.

.i dont have too much to say. another week is almost over.

(thank goodness)

.i feel successful with some things. and a failure with others.

.i feel good i have had dinner ready every night this week andrew has gotten home from work. i have felt good that i got out and went to playdate twice this week. i feel good that i have got the kids in bed by 8 every night this week.

.i feel like i have failed with how many times i have yelled and lost my temper with my kids. i have felt bad with how negative i have been towards andrew and this move this past week. i have felt bad that i have not stayed in budget.

.but its going to be a NEW week, that means NEW changes, and NEW goals, NEW accomplishments.

.my awesome friend lindsey put herself out there and make a list of goals she wants to accomplish that will help her....my other friend, kelly did the same thing. now i want to do it as well. and i know putting it here makes me accountable.

1. i want to am going to workout at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. this is totally doable....i have just been too lazy to do it, and have been lacking motivation...but than when i sit down, or see myself in the mirror, or realize bathing suit session comes ALOT faster in texas than it EVER did in rexburg or washington (wait, does it even show up there??) i need to get my butt in gear. 

2. i want to am going to be better about taking pictures of BOTH of my kids...not just parker because he is easy and brooklynn throws a fit. i need pictures of BOTH of them. i know this is something i will NOT regret, and they will thank me for later...I also need to start taking more pictures of ME AND THE HUBBY....we use to be good about it...but than we had kids and they are MUCH cuter.

3. i want to am going to do my hair and get dressed (besides a t-shirt and sweats) 3-4 days a week. I need to try being better about dressing better as an example towards my kids and my husband...plus andrew should deserve to come home to his wife looking alot better than me in sweats and tshirt (even though, i know he doesnt care) i need to do it for ME.

4. i want to am going to spend more one and one time with my kids....i have opportunities, but i have been failing to do anything about it. brooklynn is talking a lot, but i feel like she isnt talking as much as she should be. i need to spend more time with her and TEACHING her, not just meeting her needs of cutting an apple, wiping her face, and making sure she isnt getting into anything she shouldnt. 

5. i want to am going to be better about staying in budget (for food). Andrew has given me a large budget, and i have not reason to stay inside of it. i have been trying recipes from pinterest, and its hard to figure out if we really are going to like them or how much it makes. etc. but that still is no excuse. im starting to get a good idea of some of our favorites...but still need to build my recipes a little more....that are still budget friendly. i want to fly home so bad this summer as well as fly to utah to see evan off for his mission (when i looked at flights it was going to cost close to 1500 just for flights).... im trying to figure out some side things i can do to earn money (donating plasma and considering selling jewelry (it would be a great out for me and i LOVE the product and its VERY affordable) but i need to stay in budget for food and possibly cut it back so we can have more cushion in our savings account.

.5 things. very do-able and i think would make me happier and my kids and hubby happier. 5 things. i can do it.

.anyways. so this week i made a fort for the kids. brooklynn was not a fan, parker thought it was cool, but you can put him on the kitchen floor and give him a toy and he thinks its cool. so it was a little down, but brooklynn eventually warmed up to it and had lunch in it with me while we watched a movie before she went down for a nap.

.we also went to play date(s). we went to a park with my old texas ward and we are heading out tomorrow as well. even if its for an 1-1.5 its still an hour to an hour and a half of me having conversation with adults and my kids play with other kids (they SO need this) and get worn out. 

.parker has started finally crawling. its hilarious though...he will throw a TOTAL fit though to have to crawl...but he WILL do it. he is a total drama queen and screams louder and higher than his sister (video link below). brooklynn is talking and hilarious. she can play and play and play by herself for hours. she LOVES to wipe parker down when diaper changes come around, and she LOVEs to put diapers on her babydoll (and throw them away...yea, we have to catch her before she throws away a perfectly fine diaper). 

.to make you laugh. andrew's co workers play fuse-ball (you know what i mean...it cant think right now)...anyways they play every day for about 20 minutes and he is HORRIBLE. he says its totally embarrassing...well he had a work thing tonight that was bowling. it was a fundraiser for the childrens hospital. anyways...well his boss realized he couldnt go and gave andrew his shirt to wear (AN EXTRA LARGE PEOPLE....ANDREW in an EXTRA LARGE) andrew said the largest guy in his group ordered a large....hahahhaa....so andrew is like do a tuck it? so i wear it untucked....either way he looked.....NERDY...hahaha.
.anyways- so he went and was like, i can bowl, so im glad we are doing that, something i can show my team that i am good at.....well he just called me and informed me that he got a zero the first 2 times....hit NOTHING....he said his shoes were sooo big that when he got up the first time his hand got stuck in the bowling ball and "took him with it" and he tripped and went over the line. he said he was so embarrassed and his team didnt say anything to him as he did the walk of shame back to his team. after two times of hitting nothing, he traded his shoes in for smaller size and did better. hahahaha.

.this kid will play and play in his bed after he wakes up from his nap.

.its rough living in this household...obviously.

.so my beautiful friend jen just got his hair cut but a bit short...ADORABLE...makes me want to cut my hair like this and get bangs again but im sooo scared...and i dont know if i want to cut it again but this style or grown it out and cut it like this. decisions.

.playin with mom.

.b in the fort.

 .parker in the fort.

 .me and b in the fort....dont judge i was trying to get her to smile...which i finally did.

 .parker chewed on my chairs forever.

.both kids in the tent hanging out.

 .bath time fun.

 .bathtime fun

.bath time fun.

 .this kid has the most stunning eyes...i did NOTHING to this picture. piercing right?

.another shot of his BLUE uncle tyler eyes...they are a LIGHT blue and brooklynn's is dark blue (like daddy)

VIDEOS:

.parker playing after his nap in his bed.

.parker- you cant have the phone.

(my son LOVES phones and CRIES when you take them away from him)

.parker slowly getting the hang of crawling.

.b tracing her hand.

(brooklynn LOVES when you trace her hand..totally can keep her quiet during church)

.parker our drama queen.

(throwing a fit cause he doesnt want to crawl...he has such a nasty annoying scream.)

.b singing i love it, i love it.

(im kinda embarrassed to say this, but i sometimes watch snooki and jwoww...yes, judge me, i dont care...but b caught onto the main song that says, "i dont care, i love it, i love it." its hilarious.)

.just so happen to catch it on camera.

(i was trying to get parker to crawl to me and get it on camera...and he just so decided to sit there and poop).

.b our future ice skater.

(i swear she is going to be an ice skater....she LOVES to spin extra extra fast and put her leg down and throw her body back...seriously its CRAZY how much she looks like a ice skater....and she does this AT LEAST 5 times a day for 20 minutes....on her own)

.meltdown.

.well i did it. 

.i had my first meltdown since we moved here. 

.i cried and cried and cried and had a headache afterwards.

.so last night andrew's awesome brother opened his mission call. they "facetimed" us a little early which was fine, it allowed brooklynn and parker to talk and say hello to their gma, gpa, aunts and uncles. 

.it was loud there. everyone was gathered together, debbie had just made an awesome dinner and they were all talking and sitting together...and here were we...on a computer, far from everyone, just talking and listening.

.than time came when evan finally opened his call. and our connection was horrible and we heard him say, "elder evan westensee....you are called"...and than it got cut off. so everyone is all excited and we have to ask derek (who was holding the ipad so we could see evan) where evan is called again. 

.argentina.

.than everyone is talking and telling evan congrats and there we are. sitting. so we told everyone we were going to say goodbye and put the kids to bed. b cried after we hung up. it was hard. she wanted to talk to everyone and see everyone. she often does this motion to the computer that she wants to be held to whoever is on the computer. 

.so we got his depart date and i immediately started looking at flights to see how much it would cost us to go see evan before he leaves. expensive. we are looking at $180 each person, one way....(b would be over 2 at this point as well). i figured there was no way we would work that....and i was hoping he would get called later in the month or in july because we figured if we flew all that way...i would continue the journey with both kids to washington to see my parents and everyone in my hometown....but because its so early in the month, my mom is still in school and wouldnt be flying to arizona until beginning of july (they are flying into arizona for my nieces baptism and i was going to fly into arizona with them so i had help and than have andrew come get me or figure out a way to get to texas (its about a 13-14 hour drive)...not horrible. but if i were to do that, me and the kids would be apart from andrew for almost a month.

.i know thats not happening.

.and i broke down and cried.

.i cried and cried and told andrew i cannot wait until he tells me we are moving back.

.he asked me why i didnt have such a hard time in rexburg.

.well. i knew if i wanted to go to my sister's it was a 4 hour drive. if i wanted to go home, it would be a 12 hour drive. i can do that....but we are talking 2 days of 12-14 hours of driving and thats just to utah (his family) and flying out of san antonio is CRAZY expensive.

.so i just lost it. i sat there and cried.

.but its out of my system (for now). and i am doing better. 

.for now i am going to cuddle these two and love on them, and enjoy having them with me.

 .b has to be wherever parker is this morning...see her rubbing his back on the picture below. 

.its going to be a great day with these two.

.white trash blonde and than some.

.this past week has been extremely relaxing.

.like REALLY relaxing. 

.like borderline lazy.

.OKAY...we were lazy.

.friday andrew got home from work and we just played with the kids, and it was the beginning to our LAZY weekend.

.saturday we slept in. we got up and andrew made breakfast (first for everything right?...jk). than he stayed with the kids and i went grocery shopping by myself.

.BY MYSELF PEOPLE...it felt weird and enjoyable at the same time. i talked to my mom almost the whole time...with no distractions. it was great.

.i came home, we picked up the kids and took them out to run some errands and get out. we let brooklynn bring her baby stroller and my gosh, she was LOVING it. people would stop and say "oh!" while brooklynn would not pay attention and run into things. it was an adventure, but she was happy and it wore her out.

.than we went shopping. yes, SHOPPING. andrew was so good (okay, pretty good) and allowed me to make some returns and shop for the kids. i had like 50 bucks in old navy rewards...and they were having a 40 percent sale, and since i had an old navy card i got another 20 percent off. i wanted to go COMPLETELY crazy and get all these cute shirts and outfits...but i got what the kids NEEDED... I got b 3 shirts and 3 pair of leggings (she HATES jeans) and i got parker 3 shirts....and only paid 5 bucks out of pocket. SCORE!

.than we headed home, i made dinner we played with the kids. bedtime routine and down for the evening....and than andrew and i stayed up.

.till 3.

.in the morning.

.idiots.

.sunday, we opted not to go to church because it was stake conference and we can barely keep brooklynn entertained during sacrament....we usually are tag teaming between her and parker during sacrament....so we decided not to go. 

.i know. we are bad.  hate me.

.so we just played with our kids and spent time together as family. in our pj's all day long. it was great.

.monday andrew started work, so me and the kids have just been hanging out at home. we are thinking about venturing out today...or tomorrow...we will see. 

.our week overall has been very low-key and just spending time together with our kids.

.brooklynn- she is still full of spunk and attitude. she is a TALKING machine. people usually dont understand her, but since andrew and i are around her more, we understand what she is saying. she also talks in her own language and just goes off. she has an imagination. she will play and play with her toys for the entire day. she LOVES apples. quick story on brooklynn....so i didnt bake all of the pillsbury valentine cookies with her, i left half for andrew to make with her...well it never happened...anyways so one morning i see her under the table, with the cookie dough, eating it. thats her new thing....if she doesnt want us to see her, she will go under the table (like we cant see her)...so we know she is up to no good when she is under the table. so also has started going to her room on her own when she is mad at us and shuts the door. i have no problem with this.

.parker i swear is getting bigger and bigger each day...okay, obviously he is growing. but he is so much happier. he sleeps  11.5-12 hours at night (amazing change huh?)...we started moving the kids bedtime to 8 this week....we are loving the time we spend with kids, but we also love our time. he rolls everywhere. he pushes himself to sitting position and gets on his hands and knees and rocks (this is just in the past week)...he is going to be crawling in no time. he LOVES getting thrown up in the air and being tickled and playing with brooklynn. he also fake coughs and spits.

.me- i finally dyed my hair back. you guys have the opportunity to see how bad it was...gah!...i am lacking motivation to start working out again, but hoping it comes around soon. i love being with my kids and watching them grow. im also very spoiled by parents and in laws. my parents sent me money for my birthday....they know me well, because i enjoy to shop and change up my wardrobe, but dont enjoy spending the money....so they sent me money...THANK YOU. my mother in law looked at my pinterest board and sent me different pieces to different outfits....cute!   THANK YOU!

.andrew is getting spoiled at work...they are treating them to lunch today and some fun stuff. he brought home a waterbottle and sports bag and towel for some reason. (they won something)...he has his last training tomorrow and than starts back with his group. he is sooo ready to start working with his group and apply what he has learned to help his group. he is such a nerd. he built us a DVR from an old computer, and so now we record all our shows and watch them together.

.thats us....hopefully we have a bit more exciting weekend...my awesome brother in law opens his mission call tonight...we are SO THRILLED for him and to find out where he is going to serve for 2 years and when he leaves (trying to figure out if we can get out to him before he leaves)...maybe he just needs to come to us :)

 .B with the vday cake gpa mcdonald sent.

 .parker's other new trick...lol.

 .i wanted to know what it would be like having a bald little girl....parker helped me.

 .gah! the white trash nasty hair. and p with the cake from gpa.

 .parker and the cake.

 .pulling it closer. he JUST about got it before us.

 .parker on his hands and knees.

 .b LOVING the ice cream cake from gpa mcdonald.

 .b laid out the blanket, laid down, and wrapped her arm around her baby.

 .its offical...andrew is graduated.

 .b and mommy (and mommys nasty hair) and the ice cream cake.

.see the mess and everything she has under the table.

VIDEOS:

.b saying thank you for vday cake.

.p rocking on his knees.  (he is WAY better now)

.b REALLY wanted the same candy as daddy...so we let her....its a hot tomale.

.when debbie sent my present, she also added some things for b and p.

.b and p spitting raspberries.

.parker fake coughing and spitting raspberries.

.pushing b and p on the car.

THATS IT :)  THANKS FOR READING!

.day of love.

.valentines day.

.the day of lllloooovvveee.

.gosh. i remember working at sees candies and packing choclates for all the idiot men who left everything to the last minute. (hem, richael.) but i LOVED it, and so did andrew because i got a discount, so he would come to the store and the conversation would go something like this.

t: welcome to sees. let me get you a sample of (whatever we were sampling for that day or hour). what can i get for you?

a:well, i need to pack a box for someone really special.

t:okay, i can do that...what size box are you looking at? half pound, one pound, two pound?

a: umm, one pound.

t: okay, what kind of chocolates would you like in that box?

a:umm, whatever you think is good, she would probably like. (hahahaha)

.than he would leave and i would pay for it, because i got the discount. lol. oh the memories.

.im trying to start traditions for the holidays. nothing totally expensive every holiday. but just a little something. . . and i just havent got valentines day figured out. i did get alot of GREAT ideas from all of you...good thing the kids are young and dont know that mommy is still trying to figure this all out. 

.so far, i think we will always go meet daddy for lunch (if he lands on a work day) and if it lands on a weekend, we will do lunch somewhere like a park or something. 

.so vday this year i woke up and finished putting together andrew's valentines gift. 

(.i walked past the box of chocolates and twix bars sitting on the counter for me from andrew one too many times before i even saw it. pathetic i know.)

.got myself ready. got the kids ready. hurried out the door because we were running late (like always).

.picked up andrew a patty melt from whataburger (he thought i was making lunch)(thanks ROGER for getting andrew hooked at this place)...and met up with andrew.

.andrew met me in the parking lot to help bring the kids in, and his first thing he said is "ahhh, you can't wear sandals inside"   i was like what!?!  (obviously i had sandals on) and he started laughing. jerk.

.we went and found a table and let andrew open his presents. he really like them and thought it was a great idea. it was a RIDICULOUS amount of candy, but it was fun to get ideas from the internet come up with ideas on my own to go with the candy. here is what the items said:

"Life with you would be unBEARable" -Parker. (Gummy Bears)

"You stole a PIECE of my heart"- Brooklynn (Reeses Pieces)

"Thanks for always making me SNICKER"-Brooklynn (Snickers

"Your a hot tamale"-Me. (Hot Tamales)

"Your oFISHally the best daddy ever"- Parker and Brooklynn (Swedish Fish)

"I wouldn't CHEWS any other daddy"- Brooklynn (Gum)

"Your SODA an AWesome Daddy" -Parker (A&W pop)

"Your Mommy's LIFESAVER...and ours too" -Parker and Brooklynn (Lifesavers)

"We are HOOKED on you"-Parker and Brooklynn (Gummy Worms)

"Thanks for working so hard to make a 100 GRAND"-Me. (100 Grand)...Andrew laughed at this and said you wish we made that much

I tired to find a skor bar...its vday...give me a break...but i couldnt...so i had to do a little saying with rice krispies. lol

.b also cut out her hands and made the paper acordian in the middle and it said, "daddy i love you this much" and the hands stretched out.

.and i painted the kids feet and made hearts out of their footprints. oh.my.gosh. this was alot harder than i thought it would be...what was i thinking a 21.5 month and 7 month old trying to get their feet perfect. haha. it was good enough and andrew was surprised.

.we had lunch, we walked around. than the kids and i took off.

.we headed to baskin robbins to pick up my ice cream cake from my dad.

.every year since i can remember, my dad ALWAYS got a big baskins robbins ice cream cake on valentines day and it would say "to all my girls" and their would be little candy hearts with each of our names on a heart. (he had 5 girls plus my mom) .it was adorable. well dad STILL does it for all of us girls every valentines day. seriously one of the sweetest things ever and makes valentines day even more special (and awesome). he ordered a cake for my sisters in arizona, washington, idaho and utah and me...texas. thanks dad soooo much.

.than we headed home and cleaned up the apartment and put parker down for a nap. 

.than i let b make cookies...she LOVED it. i just got the pillsbury-already-cut-and-decorated-just-have-to-throw-on-a-pan-and-bake cookies...and she thought she was so special. she got to take them out and put them on a baking sheet and than we put them in the oven and she watched them cook. and i have to say, they are PERFECT size for when she wants a cookie its not a huge ol cookie, its just small and she loves it. 

.than i started dinner. cinnabon cinnamon roll waffles. yes. delicious and easy. got a tube of pillsburg cinnabon cinnamon rolls, pulled them apart, threw them in the waffle maker, and boom...ya got yourself some delicious dinner.

.andrew got home, and i headed to my spa trip. i have to say it was VERY relaxing...however, i was bored. lol. i wanted someone to talk to, and since i was getting a mani i couldnt text even. but it was really nice. i came home and said babe, it was sooo nice, but word of advise, dont do it at a spa next time...its sooo expensive them for to pamper me for 50 minutes massage my arm and hands with lotion and paint my nails. he was happy i was honest with him. and glad i also enjoyed myself.

.came home. put the kids to bed by 830 (wahoo go us) and snuggled on the couch and watch some shows. i lasted about 20 minutes before i fell asleep.

.it was a great valentines day. 

 .andrews valentines gift from me and the kids...he also ordered some nerdy computer part he wanted.

 .brooklynns hands that say "i love you this much"

.parker and brooklynns footprints for hearts.

 .parker on our lunch date....i failed to get a picture of b....bad mom.

 .this is NOT what she wore to our lunch date...i had stripped it off her because i wanted to wash it with the load i was throwing in so it was clean....here she is with her cookies.

 .brooklynns cookies.

 .cinnamon waffles.yum.

.my hand looks retarted...but my expensive/relaxing nail work.

.the cake my daddy ordered for me. 

VIDEOS: (only 1...dont worry)

.b making valentine cookies.

.24 years and updates.

.wow.

.its already the weekend.

.i am SO ready.

.tuesday i turned 24. yes. you read that right. 24. 

.im 24 with 2 kids. 

who would of thought. 

.anyways. my birthday just so happened to land on a work day and one of my LEAST favorite days of the week. I like FRIDAYS, SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS.

.i woke up from having a good amount of sleep. parker slept 11 hours that night and woke up twice for his paci but rolled over and went right back to sleep...i was in HEAVEN. so i got up with my kids and got breakfast....parker had a bottle. p had yogurt and pears and cheese...and i had a sugar cookie or two.

.than my kids decided that they wanted to take a nap...parker ususally takes a nap about an hour or so after he wakes up...but b went and climbed in her crib. i asked her if she wanted me to turned on a movie and she told me no. and i asked if she was going to lay down and she said yes...wow...so what was i to do with my spare time...curl my hair of course. than i woke up the kids, got them dressed and headed out to meet daddy for lunch. i thought for sure we were going to some fast food because of money and time...but no he took me to thai...one of my FAVORITE foods (thanks to westensees, never had Thai before)...it was delicious. than we dropped off daddy at work and headed to ross. i shopped the store for about 45 minutes and got a few things. i conquered my fear and tried on a pair of skinny jeans.....they were okay, but made me want to loose a bit more weight before i purchase a pair...and than it will be summer, and i wont want to put anything that goes past my knee on my body. haha. the kids were ready to go, so we headed home. the kids didnt want to take a nap, so we played and killed time till daddy got home. parker went down for another nap and b entertained herself bringing toys into the already small kitchen to threw them in the no-space-to-walk-already kitchen, and i made dinner while tripping every other step. after dinner andrew took me out to get ice cream (my FAV). we decided to just get chick-fli-a shakes and b played in the play area (she was alone and LOVED that). than we headed home and got the kids bathed and put to bed. it was a GREAT day. 

.andrew surprised me with a appointment to a spa on valentines day, with him watching the kids. i was shocked. andrew is NOT good with gifts. he will admit that...well having me for a wife, he definately doesnt look too good in the area of gift giving. haha. just kidding. but i was shocked. he did so good. 

.the kids have been great. andrew and i are slowly trying to move their bedtime up....it was 10:30 (I KNOW I KNOW....craZy.) and recently it has been 9....but the past 3 days we have put them down at 8:30. it has been GREAT....i think we will eventually shoot for 8...i know parents that put their kids down earlier...but i feel like by the time andrew gets home, he BARELY sees the kids. especially if we get the house we are looking at...if he hits primetime traffic, he is looking at a 45 minute drive home...so 8 or 8:30 i am okay with, any earlier and the kids wont know who their dad is. 

.we are doing well. parker turned 7 months. i am in shock. it doesnt not feel like we have had that boy for 7 months already. he is a teething champ, and is trying to walk so bad. he is starting to sleep GREAT....i got him a amber necklace for his teething, and i dont know if it's that or that he is full finally (this kid drinks 7-8 oz...there is NO way he was getting that much from me)....but needless to say, he is sleeping like a champ and i am loving it.

.b is a snotty little thing. she has so much attitude and does NOT like her picture taken. (like her mama). she is smart and knows what she wants. she LOVES to make parker laugh. she has taken a real step back in her potty skills. she now poops in her diaper again. im not happy about this...but i know its because i was giving parker so much attention and time...well now im wiping another poopy butt for it. it will come in time. as SOON as we are in a house i will be potty training totally. she is a great kid, i cant complain.

.thats us. 

 .this is the morning on my birthday. parker is drinking a bottle, and b is laying next to him and rubbing his head. it was adorable.

 .look mom...ONE hand...

 .look mom NO hands. (andrew wants him to walk SO bad)

 .parker boy.

 .look how fast this face can go from this.....

 to THIS...hahaha...this picture makes me laugh every time. its freaking cute and hilarious all at the same time.

.one of brooklynn's new FAVROITE things to do with parker. she goes and gets her "car" and pats the seat and sayings "parker"

VIDEOS:

.brooklynn and parker driving on the car.

.parker in the jungle mirror...i LOVE when he looks up at me instead...whata cutie.

.shout out and bottle accomplishments and children's museum.

.first off, i have to do a shout out to lindsey dennett. 

.wonder why my blog magically got so cute.

.it wasnt me, thats for sure.

.it was the amazing, talented, one of a kind lindsey.

.she sure has a talent, and does such a great job (she has designed more than just my blog).

.i was sooooo thrilled to see the finished product. she came up with something alot cuter than what i had in my mind as "cute"...thank goodness.

.thanks lindsey.

.so this past week has been accomplishments, and some trials.

.but we sure saw and felt blessings from others this past week.

.this MAY be long, but its more for me anyways, so if you dont want to read the post, just scroll to the bottom for pictures.

.so a week ago, andrew and i decided we were going to only give parker a bottle. after visiting with my doctor, she told me that just by watching parker in the short time we talked (15-20 minutes) that we was VERY smart, and VERY advanced, and VERY stubborn. it was his way or the highway. she said she had no doubt that he knows how to take a bottle, its just he doesnt want to. 

.so the solution.

.only offer him a bottle until he gets hungry enough to take it.

.ahhh...that was hard and a VERY long day.

.so friday started, andrew was at work, and i started this long process. parker would cry and cry and cry and scream and scream and scream. he was SO grumpy. but i got through the day. unforunately, we planned to meet our realator that evening to look at 3 houses. luckily, parker was in a good mood and doing okay. we decided we would stop at the grocery store and get the grocery shopping done that evening instead of saturday (the next day)...so we ventured off into the grocery store....well that lasted about 20 minutes because parker started SCREAMING. so andrew took him outside while i checked out our half shopped list.

.we got home and tried and tried to get him to take a bottle and he would just scream and scream and scream. it lasted about 2 hours. finally i just held him, sang to him, and cried. i never knew what others talked about when they said breastfeeding has a connection...because honestly i didnt feel a connection. i felt like it was annoying, and lets me real it stinkin hurt at the beginning. but that night all i wanted to do was feed my baby. to just stop him from starving and let him feel loved. andrew gave him a blessing and during that blessing i felt like it just wasnt the right time to do this with parker. for whatever reason i just didnt feel right about it. so i fed him and we figured we could maybe work on just me feeding him only at night. so we went about our weekend, and it seemed like he was doing okay with the whole only being fed at night.

.than. thursday february 6th, a miracle happened. i sat down to feed him a bottle...i was doing this through a medicine syringe. such a tedious task, but i wanted to get formula down him as well as solids...and i thought, "hum...maybe i will just see if he will take the bottle" so i showed it to him and he reached up, put it in his mouth and just started drinking it, LIKE A NORMAL BABY. i was thrilled. i got a picture of it, but didnt want to get my hopes up....well now, here we are almost 2 days later and he takes a bottle like a champ. we are so thrilled but .oh.my.gosh.let.me.tell.you.my.chest.hurts. 

.the night before he took a bottle, we had a rough night. i was again out on the couch so andrew could get sleep. i honestly held parker, rocked him and cried. i thought and prayed, "why? i understand now is not the time for parker to take a bottle, and i am okay with that. but i need my sleep. if i dont get sleep i am soooo short with brooklynn and with parker and its not fair to them. i understand this trial, but i have done all i think i can do, and im pleading that this burden is lifted up. (we had SO many people praying for us, as well as fasting for us). i cried and cried....2 days later...parker takes a bottle. amazing.

.i have stopped feeding, completely, cold turkey. just because of my self esteem issues with the whole body image right now...and it hurts. andrew came home tonight from work and i said, i gained 50 pounds. he looked at me, and said..WHAT?!?!?" i said, "yes, i gained 50 pounds in my chest, well, thats what it feels like." (he thought i was serious about gaining 50 pounds).im dying...but know its temporary and will go away soon (hopefully) i know the first few days are the worst. luckily today i only have cleaning and laundry, so im going to attempt to take it easy. we are suppose to take brooklynn to the children's museum this weekend...yea, we will see.

.recently, i was having a REALLY hard time with andrew coming home, and jumping on his computer. it drove me crazy. b was so thrilled when her daddy came home, and it was like he just blew her off. it bugged me. bad. so we had a heart to heart and decided that when he got home, both of us were to stay off the computer and ipods, etc until the kids went down for bed. can i tell you it has been HEAVEN. i do my best to have dinner on the table when andrew gets home...and so far i have done just that (sometimes we have to wait 10-15 minutes)...but still. so andrew comes home. we eat dinner, we do dishes, we play, we talk, we bath the kids, we play some more, and than prayers brush teeth and put the kids down and have our own time. it has been so nice. and i have loved it. i feel like we give the kids the attention they need, we dont have any interruptions and its just family time. love it.

.other than that, i have been staying home with the kids. i attempted to take them out wednesday and go clothes shopping with my christmas money from my in-laws....JOKE. the kids were both grumpy and there was NO WAY i was going to be able to even try something on. there were plenty of cute things i spotted i wanted to try on...but....oh well, get through this weekend and may just venture out and leave the kids with andrew...maybe on my birthday next week?!?   :)

.we got the opportunity to take brooklynn and parker to the children's museum downtown. it was a blast. and the best thing....totally wore the kids out. they had alot of cool things and i took alot of pictures. afterwards, we came home and put the kids down for a nap. andrew stayed home and watched them, and i went grocery shopping and stopped at a few stores to look at clothes (i have christmas money still)....it was WEIRD not having to drag 2 kids around, but it was NICE. i got home and we decided to head out to dinner for my birthday (early). I had a free burger coupon at red robin, and so we went there and had fun. b kept pointing to the "robin (red robin") and saying DUCK! lol. it was a great day. i love spending time with the family.

.we are still waiting to hear on the house we made an offer on...its a short sale...so its a waiting process. we are still shopping while we wait, but its all a process. 

.we are still thankful for all the prayers that have been sent our way. we have felt them, and have felt the comfort they have brought to our home.

 .i have been LOVING doing b's hair...its getting long but still short for some things i want to do...but hey, not many can say they can BRAID their not even 2 year olds hair!

.parker boy at the children's museum. he is such a kick.

 .daddy in the airplane with parer and b. (children's museum.)

 .parker at a window. (children's museum.) funny thing....andrew stood straight up and NAILED his head on the roof, humm honey, its a CHILDREN"S museum....short roofs!

.b getting a talk about having to share with other kids.

 
.ooooo the tears!

 .b driving the trolly.

.parker kicking it in the back.

 .this is the FIRST time he took a bottle from me after trying and trying and giving up.

 .b's hair.

 .parker boy.

 .braided hair.

 .met up with andrew for lunch last week, kids are sleeping in the back, so we took advantage and stopped and got ice cream, so we didnt have to share with kids.

 .oh my shortness.

 .parker boy.

 .b washing the dishes, i told andrew i want to get her a kitchen for her birthday...she LOVES it.

.b's hair.

 .early birthday present from my sisters. its a picture frame that opens up and holds jewelry...i have wanted one but they were 100 bucks...my sisers scored on deals and coupons and got it for right around 35 bucks. thanks kristina and ronnie.

 .parker boy.

 .my morning babes.

 .look at this hair...she is a beauty. took me 5 minutes.

 .the sweet kicks my mom got for parker when he was born that FINALLY fit him.

 "ello?"

 .andrew said wow...after seing you in that mirror you look great....THANKS andrew.

.atm machine at children's museum.

.PARKER!

 .this is SOOO my dad's scowl.

 .children's museum.

 .she LOVED the shopping carts. they could go through and pull items from the shelf, and than scan it, and it would actually show up on the screen with a price. andrew and i were really impressed with it.

 .parker on the boat.

 .nerd.so much like her dad.

 .parker.

 .parker boy. LOVE this picture.

 she will sit with her dad and watch whatever he is watching...here he was watching gold rush...who does that.

 .hair.

.parker in his sunday outfit from tammy kirby. adorable.

.and now for VIDEOS.

.little parker wants to walk SO BAD...he walks on his own behind the rocker and will stand forever at the couch...he just wants to keep up with his sister.
.here is video of parker walking behind the walker.

.you may wonder...she has SO many pictures of parker, but when she takes pictures of brooklynn she is always looking away. well here is proof why...b HATES her picture being taken...i took this video pretending i was taking her picture.
.pretending to take b's picture.

.poor parker...this kid deals with so much from brooklynn. here she is "dressing him up"
.b dressing parker.

.i love this video not because parker doesnt do too hot walking this time around...he had been walking for like 10 minutes...but because you can hear b saying "come here parker"
.p cheering on parker to walk to her.

.so this video isn't for the video, its for the noise. we were driving home from the store, i was tired and sooo done with the kids, and than they started talking and laughing at each other. totally changed my day. they do this EVERY TIME we are in the car now. its adorable.
.parker and brooklynn laughing a each other in the car.

.b and daddy went for a ride in a little bull dozer at the children's museum. it was hilarious. and pretty cool they had this there.
.daddy and b in dozer at children's museum.

.this was brooklynn's second favorite thing at the children's museum. she LOVES shopping carts  and loading them up and pushing them around.
.b shopping at the children's museum.

.this was brooklynn's FAVORITE thing at the children's museum...they is what she didnt want to share and got a talk to from daddy...it was pretty cool, im going to lie. if you can't tell she is IN a bubble.
.b in the bubble at the children's museum.

.alright, that's all i have for you this time. this week we have my birthday, valentines day, and whatever andrew has planned this weekend that i dont know about. :)

.until next time.