.well i did it.
.i had my first meltdown since we moved here.
.i cried and cried and cried and had a headache afterwards.
.so last night andrew's awesome brother opened his mission call. they "facetimed" us a little early which was fine, it allowed brooklynn and parker to talk and say hello to their gma, gpa, aunts and uncles.
.it was loud there. everyone was gathered together, debbie had just made an awesome dinner and they were all talking and sitting together...and here were we...on a computer, far from everyone, just talking and listening.
.than time came when evan finally opened his call. and our connection was horrible and we heard him say, "elder evan westensee....you are called"...and than it got cut off. so everyone is all excited and we have to ask derek (who was holding the ipad so we could see evan) where evan is called again.
.argentina.
.than everyone is talking and telling evan congrats and there we are. sitting. so we told everyone we were going to say goodbye and put the kids to bed. b cried after we hung up. it was hard. she wanted to talk to everyone and see everyone. she often does this motion to the computer that she wants to be held to whoever is on the computer.
.so we got his depart date and i immediately started looking at flights to see how much it would cost us to go see evan before he leaves. expensive. we are looking at $180 each person, one way....(b would be over 2 at this point as well). i figured there was no way we would work that....and i was hoping he would get called later in the month or in july because we figured if we flew all that way...i would continue the journey with both kids to washington to see my parents and everyone in my hometown....but because its so early in the month, my mom is still in school and wouldnt be flying to arizona until beginning of july (they are flying into arizona for my nieces baptism and i was going to fly into arizona with them so i had help and than have andrew come get me or figure out a way to get to texas (its about a 13-14 hour drive)...not horrible. but if i were to do that, me and the kids would be apart from andrew for almost a month.
.i know thats not happening.
.and i broke down and cried.
.i cried and cried and told andrew i cannot wait until he tells me we are moving back.
.he asked me why i didnt have such a hard time in rexburg.
.well. i knew if i wanted to go to my sister's it was a 4 hour drive. if i wanted to go home, it would be a 12 hour drive. i can do that....but we are talking 2 days of 12-14 hours of driving and thats just to utah (his family) and flying out of san antonio is CRAZY expensive.
.so i just lost it. i sat there and cried.
.but its out of my system (for now). and i am doing better.
.for now i am going to cuddle these two and love on them, and enjoy having them with me.
.b has to be wherever parker is this morning...see her rubbing his back on the picture below.
.its going to be a great day with these two.
Is it sad that I just cried while reading this. This stage in life is just...hard...thankfully we get the joy and challenge of raising these crazy kiddos, but that doesn't make it any easier for us Mom's who try and support our little families wherever the jobs/school may be. It's hard. But for some reason it makes it easier to know you aren't alone! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteAshleigh. I am still in a bad mood from it today. Just very down and emotional about it. i cry EVERY TIME i have to say goodbye to my mom because i know it will be a long time (they are living on a teachers salary)....christmas time she saw the kids and b was walking and talking and didnt know who she was....and parker was 5 months old...the next time she sees my kids, b will be talking more and already 2 and parker will be walking and starting to talk and 1....thats rough. I just miss having family around....a 6-10 hour drive is CLOSE for me....so texas is SO FAR. but i need to learn to cope with it, and enjoy it while i can instead of be bitter about it. because thats not going to get me anywhere. we are hear for AT LEAST 5 years but it will be more like 10 AT LEAST. so i need to enjoy the family memories we are making now and that andrew has a job and comes home with no work. thats huge for me. Thanks so much for your comment and support!
ReplyDeleteI can understand your feelings. I had such a hard time when my parents lived in Pennsylvania when we were first married. I never knew when I would be seeing them next. When I heard they were moving back to Idaho it made life so much better! Especially having just had Kenneth. I am enjoying this time with them close by, because in a couple years we could very well be down there in Texas with you. Just know it's a short time really in the long run. :)
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