.tueday night breakdown...AGAIN.

.so tuesday night i had another breakdown.

.poor andrew probably thought, WHAT did i get myself into.

.so the day started off with me and the kids out of the door and ready to go by 10am. success.

.we met up with ladies from my old ward at the park. i LOVE getting together with them.

.it was a BEAUTIFUL day to get out and enjoy adult conversation and let the kids run wild.

.my good friend Morgan asked me how the house process was going and i explained that its a short sale, so its still a waiting game. she asked if i was still looking at other houses during the waiting process....TOTALLY. im not dead set on this house. it has a lot of work to do on it, we are hoping we do some upgrading and remodeling on our own, and get our money and than some in return. 

.she than proceeded to tell me that a house in her neighborhood was going to go up on the market soon....when i asked what house, she said, "mine!" surprise. she was moving to washington and putting her house up on the market. 

.i was THRILLED. this would be a shorter commute for andrew. in the boundaries of my old ward, WHOM I LOVE, and the house was really pretty and backyard was HUGE. i was sooooo excited, and called andrew up after the park to say we needed to meet for lunch to i could talk to him about something. when i told him, he said, well get more information and we can definitely look into it.

.it was the same size house. upgraded kitchen already. great neighborhood. shorter commute for andrew. 4 bedroom and 2.5 bath (the one we put an offer in on is 3 bathroom...) and large gameroom (like the house we put an offer in on).....but they were listing it for 10-30 thousand dollars more than our TOP affordable price.....agh.

.i ventured out to the pool alone with both kids. it sure was an adventure, but something i CAN do. it was much easier once i got parker to fall asleep in the stroller. :)

.i was so upset, and really put me in a bad mood. so after dinner, and me telling andrew about it, i decided i needed out....a walk. so i loaded up the kids and off i went.....andrew ended up catching up with me and coming along.

.once we got home, we got the kids bathed, and put to bed. i took a shower and headed to bed. i laid there and messed around on my ipod thinking....agh, i was so grumpy.

.andrew came to bed and tried to talk to me, but i was in no mood to talk. than he said something, and i totally LOST it. i turned my back to him and started to cry.

.finally after about 20 minutes of andrew hugging me and guessing what was wrong, i told him.

.the house- i feel like we can be happy in the house we made on offer on, im just SCARED of resale, im scared of andrew HATING the commute everyday. im scared of not having time/money to do the upgrading we want to do (in time)....andrew is starting is masters probably in the next year or so since the company will pay for it.

.brooklynn- i have been REALLY bad about comparing my children's growth to other kids. and i blame myself that brooklynn doesnt talk as much as another kid, or that she doesnt know the sounds of all the animals. etc. i blame myself. i feel like maybe its because of me.....let me tell you its HARD to give your child so much attention when you have another....and  its hard to give b attention when she is SOOOOOOO active. having her sit still to do a puzzle is about as good as it gets for her to sit and pay attention. its hard. ...andrew insured me that brooklynn is progressing just fine....its still hard.

.my body/face- this stress brings acne....i am breaking out like im in high school again. its SO embarrassing. i am embarrassed about my body and how i look. i try to work out, and watch what i eat (kinda...if i want chocolate or ice cream...DANG IT im totally going to eat it)....i feel like you can workout all you want but getting rid of access SKIN from being pregnant is impossible. it BUGS me.

.the move- has been HARD. its hard not having family, i have been trying to be positive and know its just temporary (i told andrew 6 years and we are moving again unless something AMAZING happens).

.anyways, so i spill my guts out, and poor andrew. my eyes were so swollen from crying. andrew gave me a blessing, and i felt the love of my husband and the love of my Savior. it was a tender moment for me. afterwards i literally threw my arms around andrew and say, "thank you" and cried. 

.anyways, i wrote this not for everyone to comment and say,"oh tasha, your awesome" i wrote this for me, so i can look back and see that i have grown. so to end this LONG blog post....here are some pictures. 

 .tuesday at playgroup.

 .wednesday we met up with daddy after work and i went one way, and daddy went another to see each way was faster to our potential home....they were only minutes apart...but still a 45 minute commute. this is b waiting for daddy.

  .so my awesome friend jen posted a tutorial on curling hair....i did it and LOVE it....this is a different tutorial i tired and it turned out awesome too (all with my straightener!)

 .kids making a mess in the morning, but playing together, so i let them.

 .parker on our tuesday walk.

 .kiddos on our walk.

 .b and daddy on the walk.

 .b girl with her daddy.

 .another mess, but again, getting along.

 .b got this NASTY cold, running nose and had a slight fever...she FINALLY fell sleep after a LONG night.

.b again at playgroup. LOVE her hair pulled back out of her face :)

 .parker's pretty blue eyes...poolside.

 .b girl enjoying her fudgesicle.

 .parker chillin in the stroller...he is getting mad, can you tell.

 .b drinking some h2o.

 .this is before we went to the pool. b would stand out there and stare...made me sad to watch.

 .best buddies.

 .love her arm around him. so cute.

.another, arm around her brother.

VIDEOS:

.it was very easy to see B was feeling back to her normal self, when she continued to make her brother cry by telling him no, parker is such a soft person and b knows this...she knows that to make him cry, all she has to do is look at him and say, "no"....when she did this yesterday morning, i knew she was feeling a lot better. stinker.

.b is baaaacccckkkkk.

.thank you UNCLE TYLER for getting b hooked on this youtube video....okay, i cant complain, its just the abc song (could be worse right?) and she LOVES watching it and attempting to sing to it...she also loves all nursery rhymes youtube videos. pathetic i know, but i have to do what i can that she will actually listen and enjoy...and b LOVES music....so music it is. (excuse her bed head).

.b and the abc youtube video.