.official.

.for some reason, it seems more official. i dont know if its cause i have exactly 60 days until i am no longer a mcdonald girl. or for some reason cause things are really starting to pull together with everything. if for some reason, i feel more connected with the westensee clan. for is its cause i officially booked the temple today. november 21, 2009 at 11a.m. andrew & i will be sealed for time & all eternity at the portland, oregon temple.

i am so excited.

(reflection pool...its amazing)

Dear Body,

Dear Body,

When are you going to realize that the nasty germs/viruses attacking you are BAD! When will you finally have enough, and fight back? Was 5 days on your death bed not enough for you, sores, doctors appointments, shedding tears, medical bills, mucus, coughing, sore throat...is this too easy for you? When will you finally say, "enough, party is over, get out?,"

Do you realize that you havent felt like yourself since mono? That you have been extremely lazy, and getting fat!? That all you want to do is eat & sleep? That you have made it so my brain doesnt even know the definition of the word exercise? That your not suppose to have a inner tube of fat around your body, hanging over your pants? Body, do you realize you need to fit into a wedding dress, that when you tried on, you were feeling good and was 10 pounds skinner?

When you decide its important to start feeling more like you, and get in shape, and re-learn the definition of exercise, let me know. The sooner the better!!

Thank you.

.10 week countdown.

.i feel like my wedding isn't coming soon enough. but than i have been sitting down and putting a "to do" list together...and 10 weeks is TOO close. don't get my wrong, i am definitely counting down the days/weeks until my wedding...but at the same time...wow.

.gather addresses for invitations.

.type up all invitations.

.make final decisions on announcement.

.order announcement.

.pay off my sister for ring (she is a lifesaver).

.pay off my mom in law for rest of dress (she is a lifesaver).

.buy plane ticket to try on dress.

.order my flowers.

.make sure building is booked.

.order fresh flowers.

.figure out lights.

.figure out ceiling.

.figure out food (thanks to aunt lisa...i am feeling great).

.figure out final decisions for my tables.

.schedule our time to be sealed.

.start taking temple prep classes.

.making calls to borrow things.

...and the list goes on....

.i will survive. my mom/sisters/mom in law/finance make me feel like i have everything figured out...and know they are there to help me. PHEW!!! .i just open up my blog on bad days and listen to some of my FAVORITE church songs and everything seems to be okay. the lord knows i am stressed, he has felt my stresses before, and he loves me, and he is there for me.

.thank goodness.

745 miles, 10.5 hours of distance

.friday the car was packed with clothes, shoes, cleaning supplies, food, kitchen stuff, etc. andrew, bre & i left at 4:30am to utah for the weekend. i was able to meet with my uncle and further my wedding plans. we continued father south of utah to andrew's house. the weekend was filled with relaxing, visiting with friends, delicious meals from debbie, a visit to Zupas one of my favorite resturants, packing andrew for college, shopping for a few last minute things, and just enjoying each other's company. andrew & i spent alot of time together, bre spent alot of time with friends at BYU and my older sister, Ronnie.

.monday. drove another 4 hours. me and bre in my car, andrew in his. on our way to rexburg :). we unpacked bre completely. than went to andrew's (1.5 blocks from bre's apartment) and unpacked him completely. drove another 25 minutes to a winco (cause they are cheap) and got food for bre and andrew. we dropped off the food and andrew, bre and i went and spent a littlemore at wal-mart.

.tuesday. slept in, bre went and got things done for school. andrew & i hung out for a bit. bre came home and visited with her friend Jordan Case for a bit. than off to take engagement pictures. success :) andrew & i are NOT photogenic...so this was a struggle, but we got a few good ones for our annoucement, and for the reception :) oh..ANDREW IS AWESOME> he is so "nerdy" that he designed our announcement!! we have a rough drafts, few things to be fixed, but it was such a relief to have those two things done...and know where we are printing them for CHEAP!! its the best :) andrew & i caught up with megan and her husband and especially JANELLE! i love this girl and cannot wait to be closer to her. we have so much fun, and we go on or hours talking :) bre went to a "freshman" dance and had a blast.

.wednesday. i slept in a bit, had andrew come over to say he was taking me out to breakfast. we went to a small restaurant that was just fun. we talked, ran a couple errands, and than had to say good-bye. i held in the tears until i drove away and lost it. 10.5 hour drive by yourself, gets you thinking alot!! But alas, i know that time will go by fast with my schedule, and with the "small" things that need to get done for the wedding. its only 10 weeks away!! .

.745 miles, 10.5 hours is what divides me from my fiance who loves me and puts up with so much of my attitude, sassyness, and things i throw at him. i am so excited to be sealed to him november 21st. 745 miles, 10.5 hours is what divides me from my true best friend, my sister. we fight, but still she is my best friend, who is a beautiful individual inside and out. those 745 miles, 10.5 hours i drove yesterday saw alot of tears when i thought about the distance from the place that has my true love and my best friend.

me & my best friend

me & my love

.sick.

.last week i swore i was on my death bed. i thought i was dying at a rapid pace, and not going to be able to say my last good-byes like i had planned. it was a friday night, i was house sitting, and was DYING my heat. laying in my own sweat, with a temperature of 101 i thought i was going to die right than and there.

.saturday rolled around, and i was still dying. came home, received a blessing from my father and alex freeman (who did WONDERFUL). feeling a bit better, but still dying. my sickness was not looking up. i had a fever, felt like i was going to puke, ghost white, no energy, and my cootie was hurting. multiple times i called poor scottie, crying my eyes out, telling him i couldn't do this anymore, that the battle was over, it had won, and i was done fighting.

.sunday. i had enough. told mom i needed to go to urgent care. she went to 1 hour of church, came home and took my to the emergency room instead. the doctor there knew NOTHING. and he made things worse. he told me he couldnt do anything, no medications, and to go see ANOTHER doctor. he also told me some things, that almost made my mom pass out right there in the room...ask me for more information.

.monday rolls around, i am still in pain, and still feeling like i am going to die. we called the doctor, who finally got back to us as 3:30 telling us, she couldnt see me until the following morning. another restless night. and tuesday came around.

.tuesday. i had my doctor appointment. she gave me some medicine, which felt AMAZING. gave my some instructions, and told me to go down to the lab for a couple of tests. i did so, ran a couple errands with mom. got home and had a message waiting for me. my test result was back, and was POSITIVE for mono. my mom flipped when i told her, she said "sh** i just shared a dr.pepper with you. :) gotta love mom.

.wednesday. i had a "care package" arrive from Debbie and heather. filled with warm & SOFT socks. a eye cover to take out the darkness. a gelly face cover, to get warm or cold. a coloring book and crayons. bath & body stuff....and TWIX!!! lots of them. my favorite.

.i am better. still cant play tackle football according to doctors orders, but feeling ALOT better. I am pretty much normal tash, with a bit of less energy. I have been taking it easy, and slowly getting better. I am so looking forward to seeing Andrew next Friday ....it will be a month since we saw each other last!!! CRAZY!. I am looking forward to starting working again. I miss holly and kian (have got a few days to see them since i have been sick).

.the story ends, that i am doing better. i seriously thought i was on my death bed, and i never want to experience it again. mono stinks...but i am doing so so so much better :)