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Monday, February 11, 2013

.shout out and bottle accomplishments and children's museum.

.first off, i have to do a shout out to lindsey dennett. 

.wonder why my blog magically got so cute.

.it wasnt me, thats for sure.

.it was the amazing, talented, one of a kind lindsey.

.she sure has a talent, and does such a great job (she has designed more than just my blog).

.i was sooooo thrilled to see the finished product. she came up with something alot cuter than what i had in my mind as "cute"...thank goodness.

.thanks lindsey.


.so this past week has been accomplishments, and some trials.

.but we sure saw and felt blessings from others this past week.

.this MAY be long, but its more for me anyways, so if you dont want to read the post, just scroll to the bottom for pictures.

.so a week ago, andrew and i decided we were going to only give parker a bottle. after visiting with my doctor, she told me that just by watching parker in the short time we talked (15-20 minutes) that we was VERY smart, and VERY advanced, and VERY stubborn. it was his way or the highway. she said she had no doubt that he knows how to take a bottle, its just he doesnt want to. 

.so the solution.

.only offer him a bottle until he gets hungry enough to take it.

.ahhh...that was hard and a VERY long day.

.so friday started, andrew was at work, and i started this long process. parker would cry and cry and cry and scream and scream and scream. he was SO grumpy. but i got through the day. unforunately, we planned to meet our realator that evening to look at 3 houses. luckily, parker was in a good mood and doing okay. we decided we would stop at the grocery store and get the grocery shopping done that evening instead of saturday (the next day)...so we ventured off into the grocery store....well that lasted about 20 minutes because parker started SCREAMING. so andrew took him outside while i checked out our half shopped list.

.we got home and tried and tried to get him to take a bottle and he would just scream and scream and scream. it lasted about 2 hours. finally i just held him, sang to him, and cried. i never knew what others talked about when they said breastfeeding has a connection...because honestly i didnt feel a connection. i felt like it was annoying, and lets me real it stinkin hurt at the beginning. but that night all i wanted to do was feed my baby. to just stop him from starving and let him feel loved. andrew gave him a blessing and during that blessing i felt like it just wasnt the right time to do this with parker. for whatever reason i just didnt feel right about it. so i fed him and we figured we could maybe work on just me feeding him only at night. so we went about our weekend, and it seemed like he was doing okay with the whole only being fed at night.

.than. thursday february 6th, a miracle happened. i sat down to feed him a bottle...i was doing this through a medicine syringe. such a tedious task, but i wanted to get formula down him as well as solids...and i thought, "hum...maybe i will just see if he will take the bottle" so i showed it to him and he reached up, put it in his mouth and just started drinking it, LIKE A NORMAL BABY. i was thrilled. i got a picture of it, but didnt want to get my hopes up....well now, here we are almost 2 days later and he takes a bottle like a champ. we are so thrilled but .oh.my.gosh.let.me.tell.you.my.chest.hurts. 

.the night before he took a bottle, we had a rough night. i was again out on the couch so andrew could get sleep. i honestly held parker, rocked him and cried. i thought and prayed, "why? i understand now is not the time for parker to take a bottle, and i am okay with that. but i need my sleep. if i dont get sleep i am soooo short with brooklynn and with parker and its not fair to them. i understand this trial, but i have done all i think i can do, and im pleading that this burden is lifted up. (we had SO many people praying for us, as well as fasting for us). i cried and cried....2 days later...parker takes a bottle. amazing.

.i have stopped feeding, completely, cold turkey. just because of my self esteem issues with the whole body image right now...and it hurts. andrew came home tonight from work and i said, i gained 50 pounds. he looked at me, and said..WHAT?!?!?" i said, "yes, i gained 50 pounds in my chest, well, thats what it feels like." (he thought i was serious about gaining 50 pounds).im dying...but know its temporary and will go away soon (hopefully) i know the first few days are the worst. luckily today i only have cleaning and laundry, so im going to attempt to take it easy. we are suppose to take brooklynn to the children's museum this weekend...yea, we will see.

.recently, i was having a REALLY hard time with andrew coming home, and jumping on his computer. it drove me crazy. b was so thrilled when her daddy came home, and it was like he just blew her off. it bugged me. bad. so we had a heart to heart and decided that when he got home, both of us were to stay off the computer and ipods, etc until the kids went down for bed. can i tell you it has been HEAVEN. i do my best to have dinner on the table when andrew gets home...and so far i have done just that (sometimes we have to wait 10-15 minutes)...but still. so andrew comes home. we eat dinner, we do dishes, we play, we talk, we bath the kids, we play some more, and than prayers brush teeth and put the kids down and have our own time. it has been so nice. and i have loved it. i feel like we give the kids the attention they need, we dont have any interruptions and its just family time. love it.

.other than that, i have been staying home with the kids. i attempted to take them out wednesday and go clothes shopping with my christmas money from my in-laws....JOKE. the kids were both grumpy and there was NO WAY i was going to be able to even try something on. there were plenty of cute things i spotted i wanted to try on...but....oh well, get through this weekend and may just venture out and leave the kids with andrew...maybe on my birthday next week?!?   :)

.we got the opportunity to take brooklynn and parker to the children's museum downtown. it was a blast. and the best thing....totally wore the kids out. they had alot of cool things and i took alot of pictures. afterwards, we came home and put the kids down for a nap. andrew stayed home and watched them, and i went grocery shopping and stopped at a few stores to look at clothes (i have christmas money still)....it was WEIRD not having to drag 2 kids around, but it was NICE. i got home and we decided to head out to dinner for my birthday (early). I had a free burger coupon at red robin, and so we went there and had fun. b kept pointing to the "robin (red robin") and saying DUCK! lol. it was a great day. i love spending time with the family.

.we are still waiting to hear on the house we made an offer on...its a short sale...so its a waiting process. we are still shopping while we wait, but its all a process. 

.we are still thankful for all the prayers that have been sent our way. we have felt them, and have felt the comfort they have brought to our home.

 .i have been LOVING doing b's hair...its getting long but still short for some things i want to do...but hey, not many can say they can BRAID their not even 2 year olds hair!
.parker boy at the children's museum. he is such a kick.
 .daddy in the airplane with parer and b. (children's museum.)
 .parker at a window. (children's museum.) funny thing....andrew stood straight up and NAILED his head on the roof, humm honey, its a CHILDREN"S museum....short roofs!
.b getting a talk about having to share with other kids.
 
.ooooo the tears!
 .b driving the trolly.

.parker kicking it in the back.
 .this is the FIRST time he took a bottle from me after trying and trying and giving up.
 .b's hair.
 .parker boy.
 .braided hair.
 .met up with andrew for lunch last week, kids are sleeping in the back, so we took advantage and stopped and got ice cream, so we didnt have to share with kids.
 .oh my shortness.
 .parker boy.
 .b washing the dishes, i told andrew i want to get her a kitchen for her birthday...she LOVES it.
.b's hair.
 .early birthday present from my sisters. its a picture frame that opens up and holds jewelry...i have wanted one but they were 100 bucks...my sisers scored on deals and coupons and got it for right around 35 bucks. thanks kristina and ronnie.

 .parker boy.
 .my morning babes.
 .look at this hair...she is a beauty. took me 5 minutes.
 .the sweet kicks my mom got for parker when he was born that FINALLY fit him.
 "ello?"
 .andrew said wow...after seing you in that mirror you look great....THANKS andrew.
.atm machine at children's museum.
.PARKER!
 .this is SOOO my dad's scowl.
 .children's museum.
 .she LOVED the shopping carts. they could go through and pull items from the shelf, and than scan it, and it would actually show up on the screen with a price. andrew and i were really impressed with it.
 .parker on the boat.
 .nerd.so much like her dad.
 .parker.
 .parker boy. LOVE this picture.
 she will sit with her dad and watch whatever he is watching...here he was watching gold rush...who does that.
 .hair.
.parker in his sunday outfit from tammy kirby. adorable.

.and now for VIDEOS.

.little parker wants to walk SO BAD...he walks on his own behind the rocker and will stand forever at the couch...he just wants to keep up with his sister.
.here is video of parker walking behind the walker.

.you may wonder...she has SO many pictures of parker, but when she takes pictures of brooklynn she is always looking away. well here is proof why...b HATES her picture being taken...i took this video pretending i was taking her picture.
.pretending to take b's picture.

.poor parker...this kid deals with so much from brooklynn. here she is "dressing him up"
.b dressing parker.

.i love this video not because parker doesnt do too hot walking this time around...he had been walking for like 10 minutes...but because you can hear b saying "come here parker"
.p cheering on parker to walk to her.

.so this video isn't for the video, its for the noise. we were driving home from the store, i was tired and sooo done with the kids, and than they started talking and laughing at each other. totally changed my day. they do this EVERY TIME we are in the car now. its adorable.
.parker and brooklynn laughing a each other in the car.

.b and daddy went for a ride in a little bull dozer at the children's museum. it was hilarious. and pretty cool they had this there.
.daddy and b in dozer at children's museum.

.this was brooklynn's second favorite thing at the children's museum. she LOVES shopping carts  and loading them up and pushing them around.
.b shopping at the children's museum.

.this was brooklynn's FAVORITE thing at the children's museum...they is what she didnt want to share and got a talk to from daddy...it was pretty cool, im going to lie. if you can't tell she is IN a bubble.
.b in the bubble at the children's museum.

.alright, that's all i have for you this time. this week we have my birthday, valentines day, and whatever andrew has planned this weekend that i dont know about. :)

.until next time.

Friday, January 25, 2013

.week 3 in texas.

.i cannot believe we have been here for 3 weeks already. that is CRAZY. (okay 3 weeks on Monday)...but still.

.i figured i would post these pictures and videos because if i get behind, i never catch up. and this weekend has no plans....so i probably wont have anything fun to write about anyways :)

.andrew- he is really enjoying his job. he gets up around 7, and it out the door by 7:30 and gets home by 5:30. its great. he is getting SUPER challenged and he enjoys that. he really likes his team, and working at usaa.

.me- well, my body is getting use to running on little sleep. between b and p...im one tired looking mama. i LOVE living in sweats and wearing no makeup on a daily basis. i barely ever do my hair, its usually shower the throw up in a bun, or braid. 

.brooklynn- oh, my little daughter. she is alot of fun, but also a bully. she is SMART and thats what drives me crazy. i will tell her no to something and she will try and sneak whatever it is she is doing. just this week alone, she stuck her paci under her shirt and went around the corner and put it back in her mouth (she has to keep it in her crib)...she has pinched parker and than will look up to see if im looking and do it again. she is a stinker...but she also has those moments where she is just a doll. she sat on my lap and cuddle, watched a movie and let me paint her toenails. she LOVES to stand next to me in the mirror and pretend she is doing her hair, or putting on makeup. its cute. she also DOES play well with her brother when she is in the right mood. she will push him, and share toys, and just love on him. she will NOT go anywhere outside or to the car without her brother. she is a great mommy to her doll, and loves having her swaddled, and pushes her in her carseat and stroller that she got from grandma mcdonald. at one point she had a purse on one shoulder, and the baby in her carseat in the other...it was adorable.

.parker- this kid melts my heart. he is really stinking cute, and such a good baby when he is in a good mood. yesterday, he was SO HAPPY. he got up and played with toys for a good 45 minutes and squealed and smiled. it was so much fun. poor kid is fighting teething, and he woke up this morning all congested. if he feels anything like me (i woke up with a SUPER sore throat and congested as well) than i know he aint feeling too hot. parker wakes up and is usually up for an hour and goes back down for a nap for an hour or so. he wakes up for 2.5 hours and goes back down for a nap. he LOVES his sister...he loves when she sits and plays with him. if you hold onto his hands he just walks like he owns the place. he LOVES following brooklynn and squeals with delight when she tries to help him walk. i cannot wait for him to walk and be able to follow her around because i think they BOTH will be happier. parker really is a great baby when he feels good and doesnt fight me eating solids....now to conquer the bottle.

 .this kid seemed like he conquered sitting up as soon as gma/gpa westensee left. we skyped with them on sunday and they were in shock that he was sitting up already.
 .b wanted to sit at the table one day, so i got her all situated while i was doing dishes, when i turned around i found her to be drawing in her yogurt instead of eating it!
 .getting parker started young....gpa roger would ask him if he was going to play football or baseball at byu....i got this shirt for .50 cents, so i couldnt pass it up.
 .this kid played and played and played for 45 minutes one evening. it was great.
 .i walk into the kitchen to find brooklynn like this...she was getting the marshmellows (lucky charms) that i hid from her.
 .he isnt smiling at me, he is smiling at his sister behind me.
 .do you see the temp on the left...it says 79 degrees...this is great, except that was INSIDE our apartment. i am totally shocked that its january and we have to kick on our ac....makes me nervous to cool a home.... it was also 80 degrees yesterday outside...crazy!
.i asked b to smile...this is what i got, aint that attractive!
 .parker face on morning....aint that precious.
.me and the parker boy....im TRYING to get better at taking pictures of ME with the kids.

alright....VIDEO time. there are alot, just fair warning.

so i posted this on facebook, but i need it on her for my records too....since this video was taken she is SO MUCH faster, and she knows how to pull open the door, GREAT.

.b LOVES cutie oranges....and one day she peeled the things by herself....i didnt even start it...so now when she wants one, i give it to her and she peels it over the garbage.

.b gets SO excited when her daddy comes home...she LOVES to play with him. here is just a little clip of andrew throwing around b.

.i was watching b one night trying to figure out what she was doing...and i realize she is trying to tickle parker. it was cute to watch her.

.this is what i LOVE...when these two play together...for a long extended period of time.

.so we may or may not slightly torture our child...my poor kids. (may laugh is so pathetic...i had a cold and lost my voice...so my laugh is ridiculous. 

.i dont always get a chance to shower during naptime, and this particular morning i needed to get in because we had to be somewhere in the afternoon....so i asked b to babysit. (she did)

.parker was talking and squealing...and i hear brooklynn go "shhhhh" it was so cute...i didnt get it on camera, but before that she would go "parker...shhhh!"

.b LOVES lucky charms...well the charm part (marshmallows)..i caught her picking through looking for the marshmallows.

.yesterday it was 80 degrees so we pulled out the chalk and sat on the patio and just enjoyed the warm weather. even parker liked it.

.b LOVES this video santa paws...like LOVES it...and she will fast forward on my ipod to this stupid song every time she can and dance...she isnt dancing as well as i wish...but you can see how stuck she is to this song. (long video)

.i was cooking dinner and asked b to go push parker...he loved it...

last, (i know finally right)...here is a video tour of our apartment, my fam keeps asking for it. so here it is...and sisters be PROUD i have NO decorated at all. I only pulled out what we need, and thats it. im not kidding!....go me

Thursday, January 24, 2013

.texas uncoated.

.moving to texas has been.....

.hard.

.real hard.

.i LOVE being a stay at home mom, so dont get me wrong, but i also need an out every once in a while, or every night... i take what i can get.

.i have no friends here. i know i will gain some, but so far, its me and the kids, and thats hard.

.i am a very go go go person. my poor kids know what a carseat is, and what shopping is.

.its what i do. its my out.

.but so far i have done none of that, for more reasons than one.

.so far since we have moved here, parker has been a terror.....pain?.

.about a week before we were to moved we found out he moved from the 27th percentile to the 11th....and had lost weight as well. it seems like when all this happened, he also stopped nursing as well. 

.from day one, parker has been a picky eater. its been hard for me to leave him with anyone, okay, i leave him for 3 hours MAX and have to come back...its been HARD. he wont take a bottle, even if its pumped. i have tried 5 different bottles, and have had a million different people try and give it to him, nothing. since he has slowed down with nursing, he has also decided he doesnt like to eat on one side....do you know what that means??....here comes lopsy. i am soooo lopsided it aint pretty and makes me so depressed and feel very far from beautiful. try hiding that one...yea, i have become a master. andrew and i have both agreed that i should stop breastfeeding for the sake of parker getting more nutrients, and for me (i cry over this whole "hiding deal")....however, with him not taking a bottle, makes it impossible, wait it has been impossible.

.than baby food...want to make him purse his lips together, turn his head and cry, take a spoonful for baby food to his mouth and it sounds like your killing the kid. i have FINALLY got him to start taking baby food, but through a medicine syringe and tricking him (making him laughing, acting like im going to give him his paci, etc)...its been HARD.  

.so, i have finally got baby food down him, and he gets constipated. for 3 days.....3 days of hell. (remember i aint candy coating this). he would SCREAM and SCREAM and SCREAM. i would cry, and cry and cry. I was very short tempted, and was with brooklynn too. by the end of the day, i felt like a horrible mom thinking back to the days events.

.its been hard.

.and than the middle-of-the-night-freak-attacks-staying-up-for-2-3-hours-during-the-night-no-matter-how-tired-i-am.

.i have been so emotional, hormonal, sensitive...im a nut case.

.oh but wait, theres more.

.my car.

.oh my good ol 1996 honda accord.

.we pray it lasts for another year, at least. 

.on saturday, andrew plugged in his iphone charger into my cigarette lighter, and for whatever reason, it blew a fuse....so i have NO radio...and no c. lighter.....which means i also have NO gps. (umm, i need that around here...its new to me). than on monday when we were meeting with our real esate agent, on our way home, my blinker started going out....GRRREEEAAATTT.

.well my left blinker went out, and the "blinker sound" would not stop....so here we are listening to some annoying obnoxious blinking sound with no radio to out weigh it, with no blinker. and than it stops, and so does my right blinker. are you kidding me?

.so we are driving home, in the dark, with no blinker what-so-ever.

.unsafe, and totally made me look like one of "those" drivers who just cut over without using a blinker, and who turn without using a signal, and you think "really, i could of pulled out earlier if you would of used your damn blinker." yea, i was one of "those" drivers.

.so i have been stuck at home, because there is NO way i would drive my kids in the car until its fixed. 

.now i literally am, stuck.

.i called my mom and just cried. 

.its been so hard.

.i know things will get better, and i have alot to be thankful for. i just want things to get better on my time, and its not going to....its all on the Lord's time. 

.tuesday evening i was still kinda grumpy. sunday, the missionaries saw new people and we were attacked greeted quickly. let me tell you, they are tricky. they set up an appointment to come over tuesday evening and "get to know us." smart boys.

.they were running 10 minutes late, and i was such a grump about it. i said comments like "we dont have kids of anything to put down" (their appointment was at 8:30 and they were running late...LATE people...can you think of ME for a second....see, total jerk). and lets me honest here...like my kids go down lately at a specific bedtime.

.anyways, they come in and ask about us, and get to know us. one of them went to rexburg for a bit before his mission, so it was fun to talk about the different things of rexburg...his companion is from canada and had just finished applying for all the byu schools (he goes home in march)...and we were all  trying to convince him to go to idaho.

.alright- the good stuff.

.they shared a quick message with us, and talked about how WE need to prepare ourselves for missionary opportunities. and WE need to set the example for others to wonder "why are they so happy?" "they really have their lives together" "their family is so close" etc. they opened with a pray, and closed with a prayer.

.my gosh, those young men carry such an amazing spirit with them, and brought it into our home, and i was so grateful for that. their prayers were so heartfelt, and not just a "repeat". they prayed specify for OUR family and they barely knew us. amazing. it really was exactly what i needed.

.with that being said, i was a total a-hole last night. i was stressed, i was tired, and i felt very alone, and it just all built up. my poor mother got another phone call, and i just cried.

.luckily, i sat down and started to write this, and realize and felt the love of our Savior as i continued to write this, and the heartfelt prayers from our loved ones for us, and even from those who dont know us that well (missionaries). today is going to be a much better day. no matter how tired i am, or how i feel alone. i am blessed.

.i am blessed to be able to stay home with my children. i dont have to work, i dont have to drop them off at daycare. i get to stay in my sweatpants, with no makeup all day long with my kids. andrew has a job, this is a blessing. he provides for us.

.im not trying to say our life is perfect. because it's not...its FAR FAR from. but its my life, and i needed to write down my angry feelings, to realize this. life is tough, what would it be without trials. i need a swift kick in the butt reminder, that trials help me grow. its just hard at the time. the moved is hard, but i need to learn to reach out and create friends of my own...be SOCIAL...oh, that was a hard word to write.

.alright, my pathetic pity party rant is over.

.my next blog post will be filled with pictures and videos.
.because life is good, and our Savior is just allowing me to grow and learn and be appreciative of what i have....for my family, my kids, my husband, my LIFE.                                                                      

Thursday, January 17, 2013

.holding back.

.i wrote a blog post.

.and decided i didnt want it on my blog, because its a bit personal. and because i dont know WHO all reads my blog entirely....you can only control so much.

.so i guess if you want to read my blog post, i will send it to you via email or facebook.

.just send me a message via facebook or comment on here. 

.and ill shoot it your way.

.thanks for reading and for caring :)

Sunday, January 13, 2013

.goodbye idaho. goodbye utah. hello texas.

.well we have moved.

.its weird.

.i have to say thank you to roger and debbie for making this move with us.

.for making the 26 hour drive with 2 kids (one that had to be breastfed every 3 hours), a 17 foot truck with a car being towed behind it.

.we left around 8 am the first day, and got to aunt flora's about 12 hours later. it FELT like a long day. 

.we woke up and was out the door by 6:30 am the next day...only to get in around 9:30-10pm (including texas time change)....regardless we were ALL ready to be there, and that day FELT long because it WAS long. the kids didnt go to bed until 12:30 that evening, and woke up at 8:30...it wasnt horrible, but gosh, i wanted to sleep in. 

.we got to our apartment that we "reserved" online without even seeing what it really looks like online. i PRAYED and PRAYED that it wouldnt be nasty. we pulled up, and i felt good. thank goodness. it's a great place, that has a pool and hot tub, and 24 hour fitness room. 

.however, as the manager was going through the contract with us, there were so many little things that we HAD to pay, that they dont mention online or when you talk to them on the phone. . . we already had to fight about a washer and dryer....we had a set that we sold in utah because it said washer and dryer included....than the first day of our road trip andrew gets an email saying its not included....i was MAD. i called and said it needed to be fixed and had them look up on their OWN website that it tells you that its included....needless to say, we got a washer and dryer.

.than as we our selling our lives away (seriously, crazy how many papers you sign compared to idaho when you literally sign once....and sometimes its over the internet)....we hear, "cable is in ALL apartments, and you pay $45 for it"....umm what if we dont want it?....well we dont ever turn it off, so you dont have to use it, but you will still be charge for it....ARE YOU KIDDING?....or, and we have valet trash pickup every day Sunday thru Friday and you just set it outside your door, and they will pick it up...that costs $25 a month...can't i just walk it myself...well you will still be charge for it...ARE YOU KIDDING....covered parking is an extra amount per month....a garage is an extra $85 per month....if you dont want to punch in the gate number and instead want a gate opener "like a garage door opener, thats extra...ARE YOU KIDDING ME...i cannot BELIEVE the things people pay for...we were STUCK paying extra for cable and trash pickup...thats an extra $70 a month...CRAZY. so whatever, we signed and it just pushed us want to get out of there faster.

.but thats not all. we are also in charge of internet. so andrew had it set up for them to come and install on our move in day. it was $30 a month (not the end of the world, but the guy came in and said, before i install this, i need to let you know this complex requires you do have the ultimate internet, so instead of $30 a month, its $75 a month....RIP OFF....we miss rexburg!....so we are paying around 1150 a month and its KILLING us...thats WITH a usaa discount. 

.rant over, moving on.

.we had a great week with roger and debbie here. deb was awesome and watched brooklynn for us, while we house hunted. b was in heaven with grandma and grandpa here. she went into a bit of a denial when they didnt come home with us on saturday. 

.some of my favorite things from this last week.

.b transitioning from her pack in play in our room back to her crib in her own room (we are going to do a big girl bed once we have a house).

.driving around looking at houses, walking through houses, and seeing what there is to offer. knowing its our next step.

.having andrew all day, all week long. he starts work on monday, so its back to reality.

.seeing b so happy to be able to play outside. at one house its right across from the neighborhood playground...she looks so sad when we had to get in the car to head home. she cried and cried. it was so sad.

.going to the lake. we hope to own a boat in the future...we are talking 10 years out at least...and so we were interested in seeing the lake. it was BEAUTIFUL...and it was 73 degrees out. b LOVED it and put her feet in the water and was just so happy to run around. she would say "boat" and "i want a boat" (have no clue who taught her that.) it was adorable. 

.spending time together as family. we had great conversations, and just seriously enjoyed our time together...texas has been good to us so far, and we are excited to start this chapter of our lives here.

.well, back to reality....jump in the shower while parker is sleeping...andrew starts work tomorrow, so i am on my own  :)





 .b and andrew at the lake.
 .parker after eating a pretzel.
 .parker and grandpa.
.b at texas wild horse....yee hawww.

.thats a wrap....see you guys later.