.coming fast.

.27 days and counting.

.i am not only counting down days until my wedding, to be sealed to andrew and to "run away" for a week to hawaii.

.i am also counting down the days until my WHOLE family is together again. I am always to happy to have all my sisters together, to be able to spend time with my nieces and just create memories. i am so anxious.

.once my honeymoon is over, i have to send andrew off for another 3 weeks while he finished his semester of school. this is going to be SO ridiculously sad, however, i will again be counting down the days for my SEE-STER (as mia says) to come home too. I have realized how much i would have HATED being an only child. of course the luxuries of being spoiled and having the attention of your parents all the time might be nice, i am so bored and lonely without bree.


.i think we have both taken for granted what we had together as sisters. we had a true bond and love that could compare with no other sister. being close in age has been great. even at the times when she rubs in my face that she is 18 and i am 20 and engaged and we still have the same curfew. i sure miss my sister alot and cannot wait for her to come home.

.its crazy to think i am going to be a "married woman," a "westensee"... but i have realized just how blessed i am to have someone in my life who knows me better than i probably know myself sometimes. he can tell if i have a bad mood just by looking at me. he really can make me smile at times i REALLY dont want to. sometimes i just want to kick his butt... but he probably wants to do the same with me ALOT more. i am so thrilled to know i will have a husband who will care for me, comfort me, support me, and love me for my entire life.

.?change?.

.i am SO SO SO SO SO sick of my hair. however. i have to deal with it for a little longer, for the sake of having hair to do something for the wedding.

.however. the "shorter" hair look i have been SO tempted to do, but i am just not sure if i could go there. my sister ronnie has an AMAZING hair person, who i adore and love. she has fixed my hair one too many times and has really listened to what i want, and made things look great. (hence reason i am going to her, week before my wedding to get hair done.)

.so the thought of cutting my hair has crossed my mind. i just dont know if it makes my look fatter in the face, and if i can even pull it off.

.i found some pictures of the length i would want and such...however, the girl (amy sperline) is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and SUPER blonde, and SUPER tan. exactly opposite than me. i am NOT drop dead gorgeous. I am NOT super blonde (been there, dont that with my hair, hence the nickname "piss head" i gave myself) and i am NOT super tan. but will be after hawaii.

.here are two pictures of miss amy sperline. again, IF i did this, i would not be as blonde, and not as pretty, and not as tan.... but is it TOOO risk-ay for me.

.straight & curled.

.now here is a picture of me WAY darker than i would EVER go again, and shorter hair (i think i little TOO short) and NOT styled.

.seeing this pictures makes me RE-think going short.

.official.

.for some reason, it seems more official. i dont know if its cause i have exactly 60 days until i am no longer a mcdonald girl. or for some reason cause things are really starting to pull together with everything. if for some reason, i feel more connected with the westensee clan. for is its cause i officially booked the temple today. november 21, 2009 at 11a.m. andrew & i will be sealed for time & all eternity at the portland, oregon temple.

i am so excited.

(reflection pool...its amazing)

Dear Body,

Dear Body,

When are you going to realize that the nasty germs/viruses attacking you are BAD! When will you finally have enough, and fight back? Was 5 days on your death bed not enough for you, sores, doctors appointments, shedding tears, medical bills, mucus, coughing, sore throat...is this too easy for you? When will you finally say, "enough, party is over, get out?,"

Do you realize that you havent felt like yourself since mono? That you have been extremely lazy, and getting fat!? That all you want to do is eat & sleep? That you have made it so my brain doesnt even know the definition of the word exercise? That your not suppose to have a inner tube of fat around your body, hanging over your pants? Body, do you realize you need to fit into a wedding dress, that when you tried on, you were feeling good and was 10 pounds skinner?

When you decide its important to start feeling more like you, and get in shape, and re-learn the definition of exercise, let me know. The sooner the better!!

Thank you.

.10 week countdown.

.i feel like my wedding isn't coming soon enough. but than i have been sitting down and putting a "to do" list together...and 10 weeks is TOO close. don't get my wrong, i am definitely counting down the days/weeks until my wedding...but at the same time...wow.

.gather addresses for invitations.

.type up all invitations.

.make final decisions on announcement.

.order announcement.

.pay off my sister for ring (she is a lifesaver).

.pay off my mom in law for rest of dress (she is a lifesaver).

.buy plane ticket to try on dress.

.order my flowers.

.make sure building is booked.

.order fresh flowers.

.figure out lights.

.figure out ceiling.

.figure out food (thanks to aunt lisa...i am feeling great).

.figure out final decisions for my tables.

.schedule our time to be sealed.

.start taking temple prep classes.

.making calls to borrow things.

...and the list goes on....

.i will survive. my mom/sisters/mom in law/finance make me feel like i have everything figured out...and know they are there to help me. PHEW!!! .i just open up my blog on bad days and listen to some of my FAVORITE church songs and everything seems to be okay. the lord knows i am stressed, he has felt my stresses before, and he loves me, and he is there for me.

.thank goodness.