.here's to you.

.i didnt think it was going to be hard. i didnt think it was going to be hard at all to say goodbye. goodbye to a someone i really KNEW for seven days. seven days of long, deep conversations. conversations about life, dreams, the future, and disasters. disasters from experiences, when it came to life, relationships, friendships, and relationships with family. family, i learned that friends too can be counted as your family, and he become my brother.

.i have been through ALOT this past month. one month ago, i said good-bye to my missionary. one month ago, i was a lost. one month ago, i was trying to figure out who i am. one month ago, i had problems, and it seems within this last week, i have figured out most of those problems.

i have been told more this week, and been reminded this past week of who i am. i have built confidence, and realized that i do matter. i have realized, that what i want in life, is achievable, and I just need to be tough mentally. its just "one foot in front of another." i have been reminded that I am beautiful just how I am, that I dont need to change, and compare myself to others.

.it was weird, our friendship. my bestie keith, always went on about "bean" and i always wondered what was in this guy to attract to many friends, and be known as "awesome". well now i know. when i went to his house, because he told keith he wanted to see me, and said to keith, " i dont even know him" keith said it didnt matter to bean. i got there and bean embraced me with a big hug as if we have been lifetime friends. for seven days straight around 10:30 pm...our conversations start. random, but in need. he has really made my open up and talk. and its been good for me. i knew our friendship was awesome, and as he stated about out friendship, "its just the beginning, you and me." but i knew our friendship really meant alot to him, as it did me, when...

i was sitting in his room, watching him pack away everything. telling me about all the different uniforms, and seeing the honor he has of being a marine when he told the stories. but in the midst he said I want you to have these, and i looked up. In his hands he held a pair of brand new marine sweats. I knew he bought them for him, but he wanted me to have them. Now, i wear them thinking of my "brother" the marine, accomplishing his dream. here's to you brother.

.heres to andrew james mccarty. my listener. my counselor. my "eye roller". my beautiful smile friend. "my boy". my friend. my brother. my marine.